


Schoolgirls

by Megan



Category: Gintama
Genre: Canon-Typical Violence, Crossdressing, Gen, Humor, Undercover
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2006-09-25
Updated: 2006-09-25
Packaged: 2017-10-19 08:53:42
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 442
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/199083
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Megan/pseuds/Megan
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Hijikata's life gets worse with every passing second.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Schoolgirls

**Author's Note:**

> Gift fic for Kirstian.

"If I weren't destined to be with the beautiful Otae, I would marry you in a second, Lieutenant," Kondou said passionately, and that was bad.

"You look very nice, Lieutenant Hijikata," Okita assured him, and that just made it worse. And to add insult to injury, Okita did not look the least bit like a man in drag at the moment. "What are you going to call yourself?"  
"Call myself?" Hijikata asked blankly.

"Your alias. Code name. Stage name." Okita looked up from where he appeared to be filling his adorable kitty purse with nails and rocks. "We can't very well walk up to the lady of the house and say our names are Toshirou-chan and Sougo-chan, now can we? I've decided to go with 'Okita Ringo.' I think it has a very nice ring to it, don't you?"

"This is goddamn stupid," Hijikata groaned, fumbling around in his sleeves for a pack of cigarettes that wasn't there.

"We'll call you Toshiko." Kondou decided for him. Why did he get to sit in headquarters instead of chasing that damn annoying terrorist around the red-light district? Oh, right, not only did their Captain look like a gorilla, he frequented the prostitutes so often they probably knew him by sight. "Oh, and don't forget your parasol, Toshiko! You'll never find a man if you don't keep your skin nice~!"

Someday, Hijikata Toshirou was going to disembowel both his superior and his subordinate, and it was going to be the best goddamn day of his life. That day, unfortunately, was not today.

* * *

"Where's your wig?" Hijikata asked, even though Okita looked quite feminine even without one. He'd put little kitty barrettes in his bangs to match his purse, even. "...and where's the rest of your _skirt?_ "

"The Otsuu look is very popular among schoolgirls right now, I'll have you know." Okita sniffed, and hit Hijikata in the kneecaps with his purse.

An hour later, Hijikata was in bed with a fractured kneecap and Yamazaki was walking out the door with Okita (and looking quite fetching in a skirt as ridiculously short as Okita's, presumably the better to play badminton in).

"Order me to kill myself, please," Hijikata begged his Captain.

"Don't be silly, Lieutenant!" Kondou said cheerfully, clapping him on the shoulder and sitting next to his bed. He had a bottle of sake with him. "I wouldn't hold an injury gained in the line of duty like that against you! I mean, Okita's purse had rocks in it and everything. Now, since you have such an eye for women's fashion, I'd like to discuss what kind of wedding kimono I should buy for Otae...."


End file.
